What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What legal actions can be taken if a neighbor's unleashed dog causes harm or injury?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

What is the difference between the terms "Millennials" and "kids"?

True - how I loved my mum!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What are the 10 things you regret doing in your life?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

How do you go about getting invited to an orgy?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why do I feel so lazy every time I get into my room?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!